


You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter

by TheLethalSperg500



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: AU, Angst, Character Death, Dark, Horror, One Shot, Post Episode: s06e18 Everything’s Fine, Sad Ending, Steven becomes the Joker, Steven fucking dies in the end, Temporary Character Death, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:01:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26809300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLethalSperg500/pseuds/TheLethalSperg500
Summary: An AU where instead of corrupting in Everything's Fine, Steven just goes off the rails and tries to kill his loved ones while also taking on the guise of an infamous comic book supervillain we all love to hate.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter

_"This couldn't be happening."_

That was what Connie thought as she ran through the ruins of Homeworld. All the effort the Diamonds had made to change the planet for the better was dismantled in an instant. And it was all because of the one who helped them see the error of their ways in the first place.

_"IT'S ALL A FUCKING JOKE, CONNIE! ALL OF IT! I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS A TRAGEDY, BUT NOW I REALIZE IT'S THE MOST FUCKED-UP COMEDY EVER!"_

Those words still echoed in Connie's ears just before Steven took out a gun he had been hiding and shot Greg, his own father, in the stomach. Thank god Pearl had been able to treat the wound and Peridot was able to use her powers to pull the bullet out, but Steven had run off after seeing what he had done. Connie, Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst were the ones who took the initiative and followed after him.

_"Steven! Please, just let us help you! You shouldn't have to hide anything from us!"_

_"You can't help me! NOBODY CAN! Not the Diamonds, not Jasper, and most certainly not YOU!"_

Garnet was quick to scoop Steven into a tight hug, Amethyst and Pearl quickly ran in as well. Connie also moved to hug him as well.

_"Steven, when I fell apart, you were there for me. I want to be there for you now. I'm here, Steven. I'm here."_

_"I know you feel bad! Believe me, I get it! Sometimes it feels like you're never gonna like yourself but...It's possible, man!"_

_"Steven, I know how awful it feels to keep a part of yourself secret! You shouldn't have to hide anything from me!"_

_"Steven... you must have been so afraid to show us this side of yourself. But we're not going anywhere. We're all gonna take care of you the same way you take care of us."_

But Steven didn't register those words. In his mind, he twisted their words of genuine love and support into something ugly and monstrous. In an instant, he stabbed Garnet through the stomach with a knife he pulled out of his sleeve, poofing her before taking out the gun he still had and shooting Amethyst point-blank in the gem, badly cracking it. He then punched Pearl in the face and slashed Connie's left eye out. Even now, her scar was still healing.

Thankfully, they still had enough of Rose Quartz's essence to heal Amrethyst's crack before she completely shattered but by then, it was too late. Steven had taken Ruby and Sapphire's Gems and fled to a Warp Pad, giggling silently with a mad twitch in his eye.

After Connie, Pearl, and Amethyst recovered, they headed to where Steven had gone and found themselves on Homeworld. Which is where we are now.

"How could this have happened...How could we have let Steven fall down this path?!" Pearl said, covering her mouth as she stepped over the disintegrated shards of gems that Steven had callously shattered and stomped into powder for good measure. As they entered The Diamond's home, they saw Yellow and Blue Diamond kneeling over Spinel, who looked particularly shaken up.

"Yellow Diamond! Spinel!"

Yellow Diamond turned to see the two Crystal Gems and one human girl approaching, a relieved look on her face.

"Oh, thank stars! We were about to head back and see how Steven was doing back on Earth after what happened with White but...he came and..."

"He SHATTERED Spinel!" Blue said, tears in her eyes. "Thankfully, Yellow was able to put her back together but..."

A laugh was heard, a laugh that was once so familiar but was now something demented and vile. Connie took the initiative and ran ahead, entering White Diamond's chamber where the source of the laughter was coming from.

"CONNIE~!"

Connie winced as Steven greeted her in a cheery voice, almost like that of a child happy to see their parent come home. However, she could hear the malevolent undertones behind that voice. It wasn't the Steven she remembered at all.

"Steven..."

"Connie, all my life, I've seen a lot of awful people...awful GEMS! But White here...she's the WORST!"

White Diamond had been shrunken to the size of a regular human and had a knife to her throat courtesy of Steven, except he looked almost unrecognizable that Connie wasn't even sure it was Steven anymore.

His face was covered in a type of white powder with black eye shadow. A red 'smile' was painted over his lips and his hair was a mix of dark pink and toxic green. His body looked skinny, malnourished even, to the point his shirt was hanging very loosely. Despite his frame, he was still restraining White Diamond and Connie could also see he had Ruby and Sapphire huddled in a corner, both having been reformed and scared witless.

"Steven, please! You don't have to do this! You're better than this!" White begged with tears in her eyes as Steven snarled.

"You're right, I AM BETTER! I'M BETTER THAN MOM, I'M BETTER THAN YOU, I'M BETTER THAN EVERYONE!"

"No, Steven, you're NOT! You're becoming even worse than your mother! Would she have wanted you to go down this path?!" Connie pleaded as Steven looked at the girl he loved with an insane gleam in his eyes.

"FUCK THAT BITCH! SHE PUT IT ALL ON ME! SHE PULLED THE STRINGS SO THAT I'D FIX HER LITTLE MISTAKES! BUT NOW I'M FIXING THEM! I'M MAKING SURE WHITE NEVER SHATTERS ANYONE AGAIN!"

"No, Steven! You're going against everything you've stood for! Your friends, your family, even me! We all love you, Steven, please! There's still a chance to fix this!"

Steven was silent for a moment...and then let White Diamond go. The former matriarch gasped as she looked at Steven in fear.

"S-Steven, please...we're your family!" Sapphire sobbed as Ruby hugged her close. Steven turned to the two, his face eeriely calm.

"You know, I think Jasper had a point...VIOLENCE SOLVES A LOT OF PROBLEMS!"

Steven then took out his gun and aimed it at Sapphire's hand, aiming to shoot her gem to pieces but then a sword was embedded in his hand, causing him to scream and drop the gun as Connie ran forward and punched him in the face, a sickening CRUNCH echoed through White Diamond's chamber. However, Steven remained standing.

"None of you love me...you just want me to be the perfect little angel...well, I'm not that stupid kid anymore...I'm not Steven Universe..."

Steven then turned to Connie, a sickening grin stretching over his cheeks and Connie then realized the scars that resembled a demented smile.

"I'm JOKER...And I'm HAPPY the way I am..."

Steven then punched Connie back before ripping the sword out of his hand and picking his gun back up before aiming it at her. Before he could fire, Amethyst's whip wrapped around it and pulled it out of his grip.

"Ste-Man! Please! Stop this!" The purple quartz begged, tears in her eyes as Pearl, Spinel, Yellow Diamond, and Blue Diamond joined by her side.

"Steven! We can get you help! There's still time to fix this!" Pearl sobbed as if trying to convince herself the psychopathic murder was still the little boy she raised and held close to her heart.

"STOP PRETENDING TO CARE!" Steven roared. "YOU NEVER DID! YOU JUST WANTED ME TO BE LIKE MY MOTHER! YOU WANTED ME TO BE YOUR WHIPPING BOY FOR ALL YOUR EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!"

This caused all the Gems and Connie to flinch as Steven spat those words out like cold venom. He then began giggling weakly as he hung his head down, his posture gaunt and slouched.

"Steven...we love-"

"SHUT UP!" Steven screamed, taking out his knife and charging at Connie, who quickly dodged out of the way and grabbed her sword before meeting his blade with hers. Connie struggled to push back but Steven was proving to be even stronger than she was expecting. Steven then kicked Connie out the window and jumped after her.

"CONNIE!" All the gems screamed as they ran to see Connie landing on a large pillar that was big enough for both her and Steven to stand on. Steven landed, his body hunched as Connie stood up, keeping her sword held tightly in her grip.

"I believed in everything, Connie...like I never believed before...I thought that everything would have a happily ever after...And it was all...A LIE!"

Steven then lunged at Connie, his knife raised high as Connie quickly moved to block it. Steven then tackled her and pinned her down. Connie grunted, just inches from falling off the side of the pillar as Steven raised his knife high, only for her to see his gem was exposed.

"I'm sorry, Steven!"

"IT'S JOKER-Ack!"

Connie grabbed Steven's gem and then yanked it out fiercely. Steven cried out in pain as a hollow empty space was left where it once was. The maddened boy fell to his knees as Connie held his gem tightly in her hands with a fearful expression before it suddenly began glowing and taking shape...Steven looked up to see not himself...but his mother.

"YOU...!" He whispered venomously as Pink Diamond's face held a look of sadness.

**"Steven..."**

She walked closer to him as he backed away in fear, the look of a frightened child plastered on his face. Pink then glowed and took the form of Steven himself, who had an empathetic look in his eyes despite the rest of his face being a stoic line.

"Please...Steven..." Connie whimpered. "Remember who you once were..."

Steven stared at his other half, then back at Connie, then at the Gems nearby, who were staring in sorrow and heartbreak. It was at this moment that Steven started to think.

"Hey, Connie...how about a joke?"

"W-What?"

"What do you get...when you cross a boy who has gone through hell...with heaps upon heaps of mistakes he himself caused with no solution...?"

Before Connie could answer, Steven took a small revolver he had kept hidden and aimed it to his head before pulling the trigger.

*BANG*

"STEVEN!" Everyone screamed as half of Steven's head exploded in a flash of bloody gore. Some of the blood splashed onto the face of his other half, whose eyes shrunk in horror. Despite that, Steven was...laughing.

"Ha...Ha...Ha..."

With that, his body tilted backward...and fell off the pillar, Connie reached out to catch him, but she was too late, his body plummeting into the very bottom of Homeworld. Not a second later, a disgusting SQUELCH echoed.

"No..." Pearl whispered as she stared at the place were Steven fell. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

"It can't be..." Blue Diamond softly whimpered, tears welling up in her eyes as Spinel covered her mouth.

"This is my fault..."

"No...it's OUR fault..."

And just like that, all the Gems and Connie broke down. The only one not crying in sorrow and despair was Steven's other half. However, if one looked closely, a single shimmering tear dripped down the side of his face.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to make a pointless Dark Fic where instead of getting help, Steven just went completely off the rails, killed people, then killed himself. I also love the Joker, so I figured that could be used as a plus.
> 
> Anyway, please don't leave any negative comments. I know this story sucks, but I wanted to make it.


End file.
